My Marriage so far

I’m active duty, I’ve been deployed four times. I’ve been with my wife seven years we’ve been married for four. My third deployment after two weeks being there she threatened me we divorced and she was going to get full custody of our kids thats what she told me, which i didnt know at the time was impossible. At the time it went my head hard bc it was a hard deployment bc of leadership. I did cheat on her with someone much younger and she enjoyed me and made me feel wanted unlike my wife who kept wanting a divorce. I answered a lot of her questions but I never gave my wife the woman’s number or anything.
When I got back I thought we moved on and of course we didn’t talk much but we were still together. All of this was in 2022.
I had to deploy again in Oct 23 and still deployed at this moment. We didn’t have a good year last year and we had a few fights.
She changed the way she talked to me in December 23 and I knew somethings was different. I pushed it to the side bc I thought it was bc I was just deployed. I looked though her call logs on our bill bc everything is on there. I called a number that was weird on her call list and a guy answered who didn’t want to identify himself. This was in January 24, after about 8 calls to my wife bc she didn’t want to answer, and after telling her I knew the guys number she finally told me she cheated. I’m not going to lie it killed me inside. She didn’t confess to anything else and never wanted to talk about it every again. I on the other hand looked up his number and found he works on the same base and found out from her even though she said she had strong feels for him, he fucked her and stopped all contact with her. I saw from the call log she made no calls.or got any calls for three days.
I remember the beginning of Dec 23 bc she send me nude pics of her and i thought she still cared and i still had a chance of working this out. Come to find out she did that just so shed feel wanted and sexy from someone again.
I feel like that’s wrong bc I answered most of her questions went I made a mistake. I even asked if he used a condom or not and she wouldn’t even tell me that she just got more mad. Which leads me to believe he didn’t use one. Now I/we are trying to work things out and she wants me to start using condoms I think this is wrong on a lot of levels.

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